This first picture sums up the last month for me. I was in a bible study with some great girls and every week we would go around and tell of our highs and lows for the week. A high would be a praise, joy, something great going on in your life. A low would be a struggle or just something "shitty" going on. We would all celebrate together and pray together. This telling of highs and lows has carried on to our Supper Club. Can I say how much I have missed my Supper Club ladies lately?! You are all amazing women and are so supportive! So, here is my high and low. First my high... My beautiful baby boy who surprised us 5 and a half weeks early. Wow, can't believe he is a month old already! We went through a tough delivery, he had the umbilical cord around his neck and I ended up having a blood transfusion because I had a hemorrage shortly after delivery. But, Cooper James Matwijec was quite the little trooper. He only had to stay in the NICU for 9 days and I was able to go home after 4 days. We are home and healthy! Praise God for our early miracle. He was early due to my preeclampsia which is what I had with Callie as well. Callie was able to hold out and was only 3 weeks early but lil Coop just couldn't wait any longer. Yes, I think my condition definitely brought him early but looking at the bigger picture now... It was God. My sister Ang pointed this out. Cooper came early and my middle sister Julie moved home from school after Christmas. He was preparing us and making us strong for what was to come which brings me to my all time ultimate low. Mom was diagnosed with Gastric Cancer shortly after her surgery on March 4th to remove a mass in her stomach that was causing some blockage and making it impossible for her to keep any food down. It started a few months ago with some acid reflux and progressed into nausea and vomitting. Long story short, after doctor's visits and tests, they found a 4-5 inch mass that needed to be removed with surgery. We were hoping and praying for the news of it being benign but as we all know, some prayers go unanswered. I am not going to lie. I've been angry, sad, depressed, hopeful, all kinds of emotions. Its been really hard for me to understand why God would allow this to happen to my mother. She IS the most amazing woman I know. She's my best friend. Not only would she do anything for me... She would do anything for any of her family and friends. She has been a Christ like example for me and has been there right beside me through everything always telling me to have faith. So when I found out the news that her mass was malignant and they found more cancer on her liver and lymph nodes... my first reaction was sadness and anger. I believe my first words were... "thats
f*@ked up" Then I could just hear my mom in the back of my mind telling me to have faith. In fact, that morning before surgery she sent me, Julie, and Ang a facebook message. Her words were comforting like they always were, "I have strong faith and I love the Lord and know that he is taking care of me." Mom, I know you are reading this and I don't know if you remember or not but after your surgery you asked me if I had heard anything from the doctor about what they found. You were in and out of anethesia and the doctor wanted to be the one to tell you everything as she was equipped to answer the questions you would have. She wanted to wait until you were fully awake from the surgery. Just want to apologize for lying to you and telling you I didn't know anything. It was so hard to look at you and tell you that. I had to leave the room shortly after. All in all you have taken the news in stride. I am sure you have more ups and downs than we know of. I try to be strong for you everytime I see you but I know you see through it all. After all, you are my mom and know me better than anyone. You've always known things about me even before I realized them. My heart is breaking for you. I can't imagine being faced with this and trying to remain strong to recover from your surgery and start chemo in a week and a half. YOU are my hero. You were in the room when Callie was born and when Cooper was on his way last month, my first words to Mike after we found out they were going to induce were "Call mom" I needed you there. I needed you there for me, Cooper, Mike, and so I didn't knock my doctor out. So this is how I know God is working in all this madness. Although I am dealing with anger with Him, I know he brought Cooper into this world early so you could be in the room strong for me so I could be here strong for you now. I don't know what the future holds for us but I have to trust that He knows. My sweet husband is constantly encouraging me when I am down. He prays with me. He is a strong believer. He believes Jesus still heals and miracles do happen on earth today. Last night we prayed this... Not only would he heal my sweet mother but he would take her pain away now so that she could enjoy life, food, her kids, grandkids, husband, mother, sister, friends, and the list goes on! We are hoping to get mom and blog or caringbridge website up soon so you all can follow her and her progress. I won't go into alot of detail about her chemo and treatment on here. I will leave that up to her and Buddy for how much they want to update on. Plus Buddy had all the notes from the doctors office of all the meds and chemo and side affects and all of that stuff. I will say that I went with mom to the doc today and sat and listened to what chemo is about. Its no party for sure! But if you know mom, she will make it one. She will fight this with everything and when she doesn't have the energy to fight, we will fight it for her. Mom, you are beautiful inside and out with or without hair or nails. We can do this together. I will be right there with you every step of the way! We are going to kick some cancer ass! I love you!
Sweet Callie and Paw Paw. I couldn't ask for a better dad. Yes DAD! I have two and they are both precious to me. He has been so strong for mom. He is great with taking notes during doctors visits, and taking care of mom. He is an amazing man. Buddy, we love you and are here for you for whatever you need!
Look at this sweet face! Nana took this picture. She sure does love her Nana!
These are the cutest kids ever! They love Nana and Paw Paw's house!
This first picture sums up the last month for me. I was in a bible study with some great girls and every week we would go around and tell of our highs and lows for the week. A high would be a praise, joy, something great going on in your life. A low would be a struggle or just something "shitty" going on. We would all celebrate together and pray together. This telling of highs and lows has carried on to our Supper Club. Can I say how much I have missed my Supper Club ladies lately?! You are all amazing women and are so supportive! So, here is my high and low. First my high... My beautiful baby boy who surprised us 5 and a half weeks early. Wow, can't believe he is a month old already! We went through a tough delivery, he had the umbilical cord around his neck and I ended up having a blood transfusion because I had a hemorrage shortly after delivery. But, Cooper James Matwijec was quite the little trooper. He only had to stay in the NICU for 9 days and I was able to go home after 4 days. We are home and healthy! Praise God for our early miracle. He was early due to my preeclampsia which is what I had with Callie as well. Callie was able to hold out and was only 3 weeks early but lil Coop just couldn't wait any longer. Yes, I think my condition definitely brought him early but looking at the bigger picture now... It was God. My sister Ang pointed this out. Cooper came early and my middle sister Julie moved home from school after Christmas. He was preparing us and making us strong for what was to come which brings me to my all time ultimate low. Mom was diagnosed with Gastric Cancer shortly after her surgery on March 4th to remove a mass in her stomach that was causing some blockage and making it impossible for her to keep any food down. It started a few months ago with some acid reflux and progressed into nausea and vomitting. Long story short, after doctor's visits and tests, they found a 4-5 inch mass that needed to be removed with surgery. We were hoping and praying for the news of it being benign but as we all know, some prayers go unanswered. I am not going to lie. I've been angry, sad, depressed, hopeful, all kinds of emotions. Its been really hard for me to understand why God would allow this to happen to my mother. She IS the most amazing woman I know. She's my best friend. Not only would she do anything for me... She would do anything for any of her family and friends. She has been a Christ like example for me and has been there right beside me through everything always telling me to have faith. So when I found out the news that her mass was malignant and they found more cancer on her liver and lymph nodes... my first reaction was sadness and anger. I believe my first words were... "thats f*@ked up" Then I could just hear my mom in the back of my mind telling me to have faith. In fact, that morning before surgery she sent me, Julie, and Ang a facebook message. Her words were comforting like they always were, "I have strong faith and I love the Lord and know that he is taking care of me." Mom, I know you are reading this and I don't know if you remember or not but after your surgery you asked me if I had heard anything from the doctor about what they found. You were in and out of anethesia and the doctor wanted to be the one to tell you everything as she was equipped to answer the questions you would have. She wanted to wait until you were fully awake from the surgery. Just want to apologize for lying to you and telling you I didn't know anything. It was so hard to look at you and tell you that. I had to leave the room shortly after. All in all you have taken the news in stride. I am sure you have more ups and downs than we know of. I try to be strong for you everytime I see you but I know you see through it all. After all, you are my mom and know me better than anyone. You've always known things about me even before I realized them. My heart is breaking for you. I can't imagine being faced with this and trying to remain strong to recover from your surgery and start chemo in a week and a half. YOU are my hero. You were in the room when Callie was born and when Cooper was on his way last month, my first words to Mike after we found out they were going to induce were "Call mom" I needed you there. I needed you there for me, Cooper, Mike, and so I didn't knock my doctor out. So this is how I know God is working in all this madness. Although I am dealing with anger with Him, I know he brought Cooper into this world early so you could be in the room strong for me so I could be here strong for you now. I don't know what the future holds for us but I have to trust that He knows. My sweet husband is constantly encouraging me when I am down. He prays with me. He is a strong believer. He believes Jesus still heals and miracles do happen on earth today. Last night we prayed this... Not only would he heal my sweet mother but he would take her pain away now so that she could enjoy life, food, her kids, grandkids, husband, mother, sister, friends, and the list goes on! We are hoping to get mom and blog or caringbridge website up soon so you all can follow her and her progress. I won't go into alot of detail about her chemo and treatment on here. I will leave that up to her and Buddy for how much they want to update on. Plus Buddy had all the notes from the doctors office of all the meds and chemo and side affects and all of that stuff. I will say that I went with mom to the doc today and sat and listened to what chemo is about. Its no party for sure! But if you know mom, she will make it one. She will fight this with everything and when she doesn't have the energy to fight, we will fight it for her. Mom, you are beautiful inside and out with or without hair or nails. We can do this together. I will be right there with you every step of the way! We are going to kick some cancer ass! I love you!
Sweet Callie and Paw Paw. I couldn't ask for a better dad. Yes DAD! I have two and they are both precious to me. He has been so strong for mom. He is great with taking notes during doctors visits, and taking care of mom. He is an amazing man. Buddy, we love you and are here for you for whatever you need! 
Look at this sweet face! Nana took this picture. She sure does love her Nana!
These are the cutest kids ever! They love Nana and Paw Paw's house!
1 comment:
As I sit here crying, I am amazed by the strength you have found during this time. Y'all are often on my mind and in my prayers. I can only imagine how your life has changed over the last several weeks! Please let me know if you or debbie need anything!
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