It's been a while since I've updated our blog. Life with three kids is busy busy! And with baby 4 on the way, I am catching up on rest every chance I get! Callie was a little disappointed baby 4 is a boy. Sweet girl wanted a little sister so bad. I don't blame her. Growing up with sisters is the best. You have someone to chat with, shop with, get pedicures with, and all that girly fun stuff. This just means I get to take her to all of that ;). I am pretty sure we are done having babies after this lil guy. My body is tired and I am ready to get back in shape. I love my babies but it hasn't been the easiest process bringing each of them into this world. I think my first two, Callie and Cooper were the hardest. Crosby had a few ups and downs with my BP and platelets dropping but the minute things started to go haywire, Mike and I quickly refocused our attention on Jesus. As soon as we rested in Him, my BP would come down and my platelets would go up a little. My anxiety would fade. I would remember who is with me and who is carrying us through. And of course Mom watching over us was comfort. I could hear her telling me to have faith. When it came time to deliver Crosby, I had a little moment of anxiety. We had made it to 36 weeks but I was nervous to start the delivery process knowing the last time I had a baby, he was rushed off and we weren't even sure he was breathing. I didn't get to hold him or even look at him for very long. I hemorrhaged shortly after and received a blood transfusion. It was all so fast and scary and those memories were popping in my head as soon as the doctor told us that we should deliver. It was actually our choice to deliver him that night. They said I could wait a little longer but with my BP and platelets, things may go crazy again and I would have to deliver anyways. So we decided to go ahead and start the process. It would be slow and monitored and not rushed and crazy like Callie and Cooper's deliveries. At the moment I felt the most anxiety and I was missing mom and wishing she was there, my phone rang. "Jenn, it's Gina" It was Gina checking up on me. I am pretty sure it was a lot of Jesus too. She asked me why I was so anxious, pointed me back to the cross, and prayed with me over the phone. It was a conversation that left me feeling like I had just talked to mom. So thankful for sweet Gina! The rest of labor and delivery was amazing. I think Mike and I slept and rested until it was time to push. I don't think I felt one ounce of pain. I was able to hold my baby after he was born and I was able to get out of bed. I couldn't do it with Callie and Cooper because of the magnesium and everything else going on. If there's one time in my life that I have really really felt redemption, what Jesus bought back on the cross for me, it was that moment. Remembering how my original due date March 4th was the date Mom had been diagnosed with cancer two years before, it was a new day. It no longer had that dark feeling. It was the day our 3rd baby would arrive! I met Gina and walked with her and my bible study friends through my pain with Mom having cancer and mourning the fact that I probably would be done having babies after Cooper's scary delivery. It was affirmed what I already knew but was having a hard time believing, God is good. Of course He wants to heal us, wants us to have more babies if we want. And He can! I began walking confidently in that Hope. Hope is a person. It's Jesus. I think this time of year has really started to sink in about the gift of Jesus, and what He came for. He came for you and me. Not only was I able to have a healthy delivery and baby after 2 previous severe preeclampsia diagnosis and one with a post partum hemorrhage, He's giving me another baby! How's that for grace?! How's that for redemption?! I've always wanted to be a mom. I've said it my entire life that the one thing that I've always wanted to be when I grew up was a mom. Above anything else, career, accomplishments, anything, I just wanted to be a mom one day. I remember my dear friend and old Young Life leader, Lindsay, praying for me before I got pregnant with Callie. Mike and I had decided we wanted to try to have a baby. I think we had tried for a couple of months at that point. Anyways, Lindsay and I both ended up pregnant after that weekend. Love that story. I love that my old Young Life leader and I were pregnant together. I was really discouraged after Cooper was born that I shouldn't have any more babies. Once we refocused on Jesus and not my condition or diagnosis or anything anyone else was telling us and just rested in all that He came for and redeemed for us, here comes Crosby (who's name we never looked up until after he was born means "settlement by the cross"). His middle name David is not only after my dad, but it means "beloved." When God addresses us in the bible as His beloved children, it makes it so personal. Not only did He give us Crosby healthy and happy, He's giving us another sweet baby. It's so good. God is just that good! I couldn't have written a sweeter love story and journey for Mike and I. I couldn't have ever imagined the joy Mike and I have experienced together. And it's all because of Jesus. So thankful for His birth. So thankful that God loves us that much! So thankful that we can just rest and enjoy life, no worries, no anxiety, and if those feelings do pop up because they will, we remember the truth about who He is and how big He is. We can overcome anything because Jesus did it first for us. I am so excited about this new year, this new baby, being a mom of four, and following our hearts to give to others through a ministry that was placed in Mike and I's hands, Waves of Grace. I will blog more on Waves another day. We are hoping to have its own blog up soon, website, and emails to friends and family about the mission of Waves of Grace. It is inspired by Mom, the sand, the shells, the ocean, and of course endless waves of grace. It will provide a place of rest, healing, and vacation memories at the beach for cancer patients and their families. We are so excited to share this with you! Stay tuned!
http://youtu.be/VFJGsBApIuk
